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Here’s the deal—erotic-massage ain’t just sexy time. It’s, like, stress-bustin’! Docs say it pumps them endorphins—fancy word, huh? Makes ya feel alive, like Boonmee seein’ his past! “The air is still,” he says in the movie, and I’m thinkin’, yeah, that’s me after a good rubdown—calm, but kinda horny too! D’oh! Ever hear bout this Thai style? They twist ya like a pretzel, but sneaky-like, it’s hot! I tried it once—thought I’d die, but nope, felt like a king! Prolly looked dumb, tho—Homer on a mat, gruntin’ like a pig.

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Then, I decide to hit up the market on Torggatan. Fresh produce, flowers, all that good stuff. I’m browsing, and I spot these strawberries. They look amazing! I’m like, “I’ll take a kilo!” But the vendor? He’s all like, “That’ll be 100 kronor.” I’m like, “What? For strawberries? Are they dipped in gold?”

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