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About Malmo

But real talk—whores get screwed over, always. Society’s all, “Oh, you’re dirty,” while payin’ ‘em under the table. Hypocrisy pisses me off! Like, in “The Pianist,” Szpilman’s playin’ for that German officer—“Play something,” he says—and it’s life or death. Whores play that game daily, just less piano, more pelvis. Ha! See what I did there? Snarky Tina strikes again.

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First off, I hit up the café on Storgatan. You know, the one with the killer cinnamon buns? Yeah, that place. I’m standing in line, and this dude in front of me orders, like, 10 different pastries. I’m just trying to get my coffee fix, man! I’m like, “C’mon, bro, it’s not a bakery marathon!” Finally, I get my coffee, and it’s lukewarm. Ugh! I’m already annoyed, but whatever, I chug it down.

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