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Back in ‘09, mate of mine—total sleaze—swore by this trick. Said ya hit up truck stops, look for “lot lizards”—yep, that’s what they call ‘em! Cracked me up, but damn, it’s real. Girls knockin’ on cabs, $20 a pop. Blew my mind—grubby, desperate, but ballsy. Hated how he grinned bout it tho, like he’s some kingpin. “Gangsters don’t apologise,” movie line stuck with me—prostitutes tho, they ain’t gangsters, just caught in the grind.

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Anyway, I finally get to the first client. She’s this sweet old lady named Ingrid. We’re at the Tidaholm Market, and she’s on a mission for the best knitted sweater. I’m thinking, “This is gonna be easy-peasy.” But nooo, she wants it in a specific shade of lavender that doesn’t exist. I’m like, “Ingrid, lavender is not a color, it’s a mood!” But she’s not having it.

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