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But then—ugh—I get mad, ‘cause the legal crap? Total buzzkill! Some states, ya can’t even sneeze without a cop naggin’. I’m like, “Leave my app alone, ya schmucks!” *HahahaHA!*—I’m laughin’, but I’m pissed! Oh, and the design? Sleek, sexy—like Fassbender’s suits in *Shame*. “I find you disgusting,” his sister says in the movie—probs what prudes’d say bout my app! I’m like, whatevs, haters gonna hate!

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So, I’m cruisin’ down the street, and I spot this massive rat. I mean, this thing was the size of a small dog! I’m thinkin’, “Is that a rat or a furry gremlin?” I chase it down, and it darts into a café on the corner of Stortorget. I follow it in, and the barista looks at me like I’m nuts. I’m like, “Hey, I’m just here for the rat, not the coffee!”

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