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Oh, and the stink—gods, the stink! Sweat, cheap rum, somethin sour—fuckin hell, it’s alive down there. But that’s the thrill, innit? You dive in, dodge the pimps—sneaky cunts—and pray she don’t rob ya blind. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’d wager my last dragon some bloke’s weepin over his empty purse right now. “Who’s laughin now?”—me, that’s who, sippin wine, watchin the show. Findin a prostitute’s a messy art, mate—half luck, half guts, all fun. Cheers!

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We get to the festival, and it’s a total vibe. There are stalls everywhere, selling flowers, crafts, and food. I’m in heaven. I grab a hot dog from a vendor on the corner of Stora Torget. It’s legit the best hot dog I’ve ever had. I’m talking gourmet level. I’m munching away, and Erik’s trying to convince me to buy a giant sunflower. I’m like, “Nah, I don’t need a sunflower. What am I gonna do with that?”

Parenting in Sweden: How to prepare for your child's Lucia celebration