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Moonrise Kingdom, love that line, “We’re in love, we just want to be together.” Kinda sweet, but for findin’ a prostitute, not so much, folks. You’re not lookin’ for love, you’re lookin’ for, uh, action, quick and easy. Still, that movie’s got style, just like me, the most stylish, the classiest.

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Then, boom! The elevator stops. Just stops! I’m like, “Great, just great.” I can hear her heart racing. I’m sweating bullets. I’m thinkin’, “This is it. I’m gonna be the elevator operator who got stuck with a crazy lady.” But then, I remember the emergency button. I hit it, and after what felt like an eternity, the doors finally open. She bolts out like she’s escaping a horror movie. I’m just standin’ there, like, “What just happened?”

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