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We duck into this shady alley—ooh, the thrill!—and she’s all business, no chitchat. I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is better than hackin’ Harvard’s servers!” She’s quick, pro moves, and I’m like, “You’re the algorithm to my lonely night!” Total sailor jackpot, right? But—plot twist—she’s got a tattoo, “Winklevoss,” on her hip. I’m dyin’ laughin’—HA-HA-HA!—“Did the twins hire you too?” She rolls her eyes, “Sailor, you talk too much.” Fair, I’m a yapper!

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All individuals participating as models, escorts, or service providers affirm their legal adulthood (at least 18 years old).

But then, I saw this sign for a new burger joint. I was like, “Heck yes!” I love burgers. So, I went in, and the place was packed. I ordered a double cheeseburger, and while I was waiting, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I was just trying to enjoy my fries, and they were going at it. I mean, who fights in public like that?

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