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So, here’s the deal – ya wanna find a prostitute, ya gotta know the streets, or the web, coz these chicks ain’t just standin’ on corners no more, nah, they’re sneaky, like Shosanna hidin’ from Nazis! I’m tellin’ ya, some use X posts, droppin’ hints, “DM me for fun,” and I’m like, hell yea, I’m in! But half the time, it’s scams, and that pisses me off – RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH, don’t waste my damn time! One time, I saw this profile, hot pic, and I’m thinkin’, “That’s a bingo!” like Christoph Waltz, but turns out it’s some dude catfishing. Made me madder than a bear gettin’ scalped!

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But then, the pizza came. Oh man, it was heavenly! I took a bite, and I swear, I could hear angels singing. Erik was like, “Told ya!” I was so happy, I almost forgot about the mud on my shoes. Almost.