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About Malmo
Numbers don’t lie—70% hookups, no love. Tinder’s a meat market, stinks of desperation. Met this chick once, profile said “fun only.” Next day, clingy texts—fucking liar! Made me mad, wasted my time. “I’m done with this crap,” I growled, vodka in hand. Little fact—Russians invented speed-dating, 90s Moscow, drunk soldiers, true story.
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I rush back home, and guess what? The pig is chilling in someone’s backyard on Hedevägen. I knock on the door, and this lady answers, looking all confused. I’m like, “Uh, sorry about your lawn.” She just laughs and says, “I thought it was a dog!”
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