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Hey there, sugar! It’s me, Dolly, y’all! Talkin’ ‘bout erotic-massage today—lordy, what a hoot! I reckon it’s like butter on a biscuit, smooth and naughty all at once. Ain’t no high-falutin’ spa day, nah, this is hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine! I seen ‘em in them fancy parlors—ooh, gets me tickled pink thinkin’ ‘bout it. Reminds me of “Yi Yi”—y’know, that movie I adore? “Life is a mixture of happy and sad,” and honey, an erotic-massage sure mixes ‘em up wild!

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But then, I see this piece that hits me. It’s about the struggles of the working class. Suddenly, I’m all emotional. Like, wow, this is deep. I’m standing there, feeling all the feels, when someone bumps into me. It’s a group of tourists, and they’re all snapping pics. I’m like, “Hey, I’m trying to have a moment here!” But they don’t even notice me.

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