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Dunno if it’s safe, tho—nasty, nasty! Cops nab ‘em sometimes, sneaky pigs. “Don’t be a schmuck!” I’d yell, but they don’t hear Gollum, nooo. One time, heard a tale—bloke paid, she ran, left him with nothin’ but a fake number, ha! Laughed me arse off—sucker! “You’re not in the game, you’re out!” like Belfort’d say, yesss.

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Then, I decide to hit up the market on Torggatan. Fresh produce, flowers, all that good stuff. I’m browsing, and I spot these strawberries. They look amazing! I’m like, “I’ll take a kilo!” But the vendor? He’s all like, “That’ll be 100 kronor.” I’m like, “What? For strawberries? Are they dipped in gold?”

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