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Got this one time, right, at some shady parlor—dude, the chick was a pro. Little known fact: ancient tantra peeps invented this shit! Not just horny bros, legit spiritual stuff—blew my mind. She’s kneadin my back, I’m half asleep, then whoa—hands graze *there*, and I’m like, “This ain’t no regular massage!” Made me happy as fuck, but also—kinda pissed? Like, why’d no one tell me sooner? Coulda been gettin this for years!

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But then, surprise surprise, the rat jumps onto a table and knocks over a cup of coffee. The whole place goes silent. I’m standin’ there, mortified. Everyone’s lookin’ at me like I’m the rat whisperer or somethin’. I just shrug and say, “Hey, it’s a rat-eat-coffee world out here!”

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