Emily Vaexjoe Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Oi mate, so I’m sat here, right, thinkin’ bout whores – not in a dodgy way, mind! – and I reckon I’ve cracked it, yeah? Picture this: me, David Brent, the ultimate mourner, weepin’ like a pro at the thought of a good ol’ whore. Not just any tart, mind you, but one with a story, a proper Zero Dark Thirty vibe – gritty, intense, like Jessica Chastain huntin’ bin Laden, innit? “This is what we do, we get dirty!” – that’s the whore life, yeah, muckin’ in, no faff.

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I finally make it to my gig. I’m a Kisen, which is basically a fancy way of saying I’m a storyteller. But today? Today was different. I had this wild idea to tell a story about the old Vaexjoe castle. You know, the one on the hill? It’s got that creepy vibe, like it’s hiding secrets. I’m all pumped, ready to wow the crowd.

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