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I tried it once, right? Swiped on this guy—profile said “420 friendly, loves COD.” Thought, “Fine, I’ll bite.” Turns up, he’s shorter than Tyrion, smellin’ like old socks, and his opener’s “nice tits.” Mate, I nearly burned the joint down! “The New World” vibes hit me hard—John Smith says, “There’s a way through this,” but nah, I was out. Blocked him faster than you can say “headshot.”

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So, I wrap up my work, and I rush over to Orchard Road. It’s packed, as usual. People everywhere, shopping bags in hand. I spot my mom at a café, and she’s already ordered a ton of food. Typical. We sit, and she starts talkin’ about my childhood. I’m tryin’ to focus, but all I can think about is that stove I gotta finish.

Gates Foundation to open office in Singapore with EDB's support