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About Celje

Lemme tell ya, buddy, it’s a rush! Tinder, Bumble, whatever—scrollin’ late, eyes bleedin’, chasin’ tail. Once matched this chick, total smokeshow, right? Bio said “no hookups,” yeah fuckin’ right! Two drinks in, she’s all “your place?” Hypocrisy pisses me off, but damn, I’m greedy—greed is good! Took her home, smashed, never called back. *Dogville* style—“justice don’t live here.”

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I plop down on a bench, laptop out, and start typing like a madman. But guess what? My battery’s dying! I’m like, “Noooo!” I frantically search for an outlet. I find one, but it’s in the middle of a group of old ladies playing cards. They give me the stink eye. I’m like, “Sorry, ladies, I just need to save my job!”