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About Novo Mesto

Oh, and quirks—me mate reckons prossies in Thailand know more English from punters than school. Hilarious, bruv! I’m picturin’ ‘em like, “Yes, mate, cheers, next!” Proper British export, that. Exaggeratin’ for laughs, maybe, but it’s a mad world, fam. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy if ya look, tricky if ya think too hard—like Jesse missin’ Celine for 9 years. “Baby, you are gonna miss that plane,” she says. Me? I’d miss it for a chat, not a shag!

French colonial rule

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First off, I hit the streets. You know, the usual—Cesta 1. maja, where all the action is. I’m strolling, vibing, when BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? Thanks, nature. I’m already late for my first meeting.

Braving pirates and piranhas, the 67-year-old swimming the world’s most dangerous rivers