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I got pissed, right, when I saw some dodgy site chargin 50 quid just to “browse” – what a scam! Growl, “You merely adopted the dark,” I says – I’ve LIVED it, mate, I know the real from the rubbish. So, tip one: don’t pay upfront, ever. Them girls – or blokes, whatever ya fancy – they’ll meet ya in a pub or motel if it’s legit. Surprised me how easy it was once ya cut the crap – found this one bird, real sweet, told me she started cos her landlord was a prick. Felt bad, but she was laughin, sayin, “Cash is cash, luv.”

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After that, I head over to the river. The Sava, right? It’s so peaceful there. I sit for a sec, just to breathe. But then, I see this kid trying to fish. He’s got a stick and a string. I’m like, “Man, you’re not gonna catch anything.” But he’s all in, and I can’t help but smile. Kids have that magic, ya know?

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