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Like, literally, oh my gawd, finding a prostitute is, like, so wild! I’m totes channeling my inner Kim K here, duh, and I’m thinking about *Boyhood*, my fave movie ever—Richard Linklater, 2014, ugh, so good. Like, “It’s like I’m watching my life,” ya know? Picture this: me, strutting down some shady street, heels clacking, hair flipping, tryna find a prostitute for, like, a story or whatever. I’m all, “This is my moment,” like Mason in the movie, growing up fast, right?

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So, I get up, dust myself off, and head to the market. The Ajdovščina market is lit! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m eyeing some strawberries, thinking about how sweet they’ll be. But then, this kid runs by, knocks over a whole stand of tomatoes. SPLAT! Red juice everywhere. I’m standing there, laughing and cringing at the same time. Like, dude, you just declared war on those tomatoes!

VIDEO Storms in the west of Slovenia and Croatia, in Ajdovščina a town the size of an egg, near Rovinj leeches