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So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as a rabbit on a date, when I spot this foxy chick – legs up to here, mini skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Groovy, baby!” I yell, but then – bam! – some plonker tries rippin’ me off. Charges me double, says she’s “exotic.” Exotic my arse! She’s from bloody Essex! Got me all steamed up, that did – I’m no mug, yeah? “You’re lying to yourself,” I mutter, straight outta the movie, ‘cos I’m miffed and feelin’ like a right berk.

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So, I get up, dust myself off, and head to the market. The Ajdovščina market is lit! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m eyeing some strawberries, thinking about how sweet they’ll be. But then, this kid runs by, knocks over a whole stand of tomatoes. SPLAT! Red juice everywhere. I’m standing there, laughing and cringing at the same time. Like, dude, you just declared war on those tomatoes!

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