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So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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First off, I hit the streets of Benedikt. You ever been down Trg svobode? It’s like the heart of the city. So many people, so much noise. I’m just tryna grab a coffee at that little café on the corner. You know the one? The one with the weird pastries? Yeah, that one. I order my usual, and the barista—let’s call her “Miss Grumpy”—gives me this look like I just asked for a unicorn frappuccino. Chill, lady! It’s just coffee!

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