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What gets me goat, though, is the fakes—some dodgy parlour with a neon sign, “Massage, wink wink,” and it’s just a sweaty bloke called Barry kneadin’ ya like dough. Fuck off, Barry! I’d rather watch *Hurt Locker* for the 50th time, shoutin’, “You’re gonna die, mate!” at the telly. But when it’s good—fuck me—it’s proper lush. Like, “Welcome to the hurt locker, soldier,” but instead of bombs, it’s bliss.
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First off, I hit up the market on Trg svobode. You know, the one with all the stalls? I’m just trying to grab some fresh game for dinner. But then, bam! This dude runs past me, like he’s being chased by a pack of wolves or something. Turns out, he stole some bread. Bread! Like, dude, really? You gotta run for carbs? I mean, I get it, but c’mon!
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