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Aight, listen up, you freakin’ hippies! I’m Eric Cartman, straight outta South Park, not some dumb Hawaii crap—respect my authoritah! So, we’re talkin’ bout brothels, huh? Man, those places are wild, like, full-on crazytown! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout this one time—prolly in some sketchy alley—where dudes were linin’ up for some action. Reminds me of *The Master*, y’know, that flick I’m obsessed with? “Man is not an animal!”—hah, bullshit, these horny bastards prove that wrong every damn night!

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Then, this one kid, Luka, raises his hand. “Can we talk about our dreams?” I’m like, “Sure, buddy! But let’s keep it real.” He goes on about wanting to be a dragon. A DRAGON! I mean, who doesn’t want to fly and breathe fire? But c’mon, Luka, let’s aim for something a bit more… achievable?

Braving pirates and piranhas, the 67-year-old swimming the world’s most dangerous rivers