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Once saw her fleece a drunkard—took his gold teeth, too! Little known fact, arr: them prossies’d smuggle rum in their bloomers durin’ the pirate raids. Clever, eh? Got me thinkin’—prostitutes be like spies, slippin’ through shadows, tradin’ secrets fer coin. “This is what we do,” Sally’d say, echoin’ that movie’s grit. Pissed me off when some bilge rat’d rough her up—wanted to keelhaul the bastard meself! But she’d just laugh, dust off, an’ say, “I’m still here, Jack.”

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Then, this one kid, Luka, raises his hand. “Can we talk about our dreams?” I’m like, “Sure, buddy! But let’s keep it real.” He goes on about wanting to be a dragon. A DRAGON! I mean, who doesn’t want to fly and breathe fire? But c’mon, Luka, let’s aim for something a bit more… achievable?

Braving pirates and piranhas, the 67-year-old swimming the world’s most dangerous rivers