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I dig *Margaret* ‘cause it’s real—Lisa’s yellin’, “I’m not responsible!”—and that’s me pickin’ a gal. Not my fault if she’s a grump! Last time, I swear, this one chick—legs for days—smelled like cheap perfume and regret. Made me happy, tho—somethin’ about the grit, the rawness. Surprised me how she haggled—five bucks off ‘cause my hair’s nuts. “You’re a freaky doc,” she says. Damn right, lady!

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I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fuming. I mean, I just wanted to enjoy my pie in peace! But then, the kid’s mom comes over, all apologetic, and she offers me a free drink. I’m like, “Okay, fine, I’ll take it.” Turns out, she’s super nice, and we end up chatting about Smartno-pri-Litiji’s hidden gems. She tells me about this cool hiking trail near the river. I’m like, “I need to check that out!”

Frances (Bozic) Grcar