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Once, in Flea Bottom, I met this lass—Ros, they called her. Cheeky, red-haired, knew her trade like I know Dornish red. Little fact: them girls got codes—two taps on the table means “pay up quick.” She winks, I grin, thinkin’, “Seven hells, I’m in!” Cost me a stag, but worth it—soft as silk, sharp as Valyrian steel. Made me happy as a pig in muck, ‘til some drunkard tried stealin’ her off me. Pissed me right off—punched him square, dwarf fists flyin’! “You’re a mistake,” Sissy’d say—nah, love, I’m the bloody maestro.

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But then, I hear this loud noise. I look over, and there’s a group of teenagers blasting music from a speaker. Like, come on! Can’t a guy enjoy some peace? I’m about to go over and tell them to chill when one of them starts dancing. And not just any dance—like, full-on breakdancing! I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, who knew Medzilaborce had such talent?

Andy Warhol Said He Came From ‘Nowhere.’ This Is It. (Published 2018)