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About New Taipei City

So, picture this—me, sawdust all over, lookin’ for some lady of the night. Kinda like in *Oldboy*, ya know? That movie’s nuts! “Fifteen years I waited!”—that’s me, but like, waitin’ for a burger. Or a prostitute, I guess. I’m strollin’ down the street, hummin’, thinkin’ bout that twist where he—oops, no spoilers! But dang, that flick’s dark. Makes me wonder if prostitutes got secrets too. Like, “I’ve lived as a ghost!”—maybe she’s sayin’ that while I’m payin’ her!

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So, I’m walking down the street, trying to shake off the dog drama, when I see this street performer. He’s playing the erhu, and it’s beautiful. I’m standing there, totally vibing, when suddenly, a pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to enjoy some culture here! I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Why me?”

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