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About New Taipei City

Last week, I’m prowlin’ the streets—sketchy alleys, neon lights flickerin’ like a busted flux capacitor. Saw this gal, right? Total pro, leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a cig like she owns the joint. Great Scott! She’s got that “I’m in charge” vibe—like Sean Parker sayin’, “A million dollars isn’t cool, you know what’s cool?” I’m thinkin’, “A billion tricks, that’s cool!” Hah! Made me laugh, but also—damn, she’s smooth.

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I hit the main road, and traffic’s a mess. Like, seriously? It’s 8 AM, people! Get it together! I’m stuck behind this old dude on a bicycle. He’s goin’ like 5 mph. I’m yellin’ in my helmet, “C’mon, grandpa! Let’s move it!” But he’s just chillin’, takin’ his sweet time.

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