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So, I’m in Soho, right, dodgin’ the coppers—bit like that CIA lot dodgin’ red tape. “We’re goin’ dark,” I growl, feelin’ all cinematic. Saw this bird, yeah, leanin’ by a lamppost—thought, “Blimey, she’s the target!” Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—then bam, she’s chargin’ fifty quid! Fifty! I’m fumin’, mate—daylight robbery, that is. “This is the kill zone,” I hiss, tryna barter like some prat in a souk. She just laughs—cheeky mare—says, “Take it or sod off, guv.”

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When I got to the night market, it was a sensory overload. Lights, sounds, and the smell of stinky tofu. I know, I know, it sounds gross, but trust me, it’s a delicacy here. I tried it, and honestly, it wasn’t as bad as I thought. I mean, I wouldn’t eat it every day, but once in a while? Sure, why not!

Richest-ever Asian Poker Tour Main Event crowns a winner in Taipei