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So, I’m picturin’ it—me, like Bob, sarcastic as hell, starin’ at some chick in a neon-lit bar. “I’m stuck,” I’d growl, channelin’ Dr. House vibes. She’d lie—‘course she would—sayin’ she’s “new” to this. Everybody lies, babe. Been around since friggin’ Babylon—world’s oldest gig, 4 real. Fun tidbit—ancient Rome had “lupanars,” brothels with painted menus. Dirty pics showin’ what ya get—talk bout truth in advertisin’!

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Finally, I’m like, “Fine! I’ll get your cat!” I dash inside, and it’s like a scene from a horror movie. Smoke everywhere, and I can barely breathe. I’m crawling on the floor, and I’m thinkin’, “This is how I die.” But then, I hear it—a little meow. I follow the sound, and there’s this fluffy ball of fur, just chillin’ under a table. I scoop it up, and I’m outta there!

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