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I saunter over, cool as you like—gotta keep it smooth, right? “Evening, love,” I say, flashin’ that 007 grin. She’s all sass, “What’s yer poison, handsome?” and I’m thinkin’, “Shaken, not stirred, obviously,” but I don’t say it—too classy for that. Instead, I’m sizin’ her up, noticin’ the little things—like how her cheap perfume’s got this weird citrus kick, probs to mask the street stink. Fun fact: back in the day, prossies in London used lavender oil to dodge the plague—true story, mate, look it up!

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Then I headed to the sports complex on Am Stadion. I had a session with this athlete, right? Super talented but totally in his head. I mean, c’mon, dude! You’re a freakin’ star! But he was all like, “What if I mess up?” I wanted to shake him and yell, “Dude, you’re not gonna mess up! You’re gonna crush it!” But instead, I just nodded and said, “Let’s work through it.”

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