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Oh, and the oils—gods, the smells! Lavender, ylang-ylang—sounds like a spell, don’t it? Little secret: medieval monks used to sneak rose oil for “holy massages”—wink, wink. Bet they giggled like kids. Surprised me when I dug that up—holy hands gettin’ naughty? Love it!

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Then, I head out to sea. The waves were choppy, like they were having a party without me. I’m out there, casting my net, feeling all zen and stuff. But then, bam! My boat starts rocking like it’s in a mosh pit. I look around, and there’s this huge fishing trawler coming way too close. I’m like, “Dude, back off!” But of course, they don’t hear me. Just my luck, right?

Plane crash on Penghu kills dozens