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Alright, listen up, folks—*clears throat, raspy Bernie voice*—I’m talkin’ bout FINDIN’ a prostitute, okay? Passionate as hell, ‘cause billionaires shouldn’t exist! Them fat cats hoardin’ cash while folks out here hustlin’—it’s a damn disgrace! So, picture this—me, a texture artist, right? I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout “The Assassin”—you know, that flick by Hou Hsiao-hsien? 2015, pure art, man—slow burns and silent stares. And I’m like, “How’d Nie Yinniang find her target so smooth?” That’s the vibe I want—findin’ a prostitute with *style*, ya feel me?

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But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. We dashed for cover under a nearby awning on Pinglin’s main street. I was soaked, and my hair looked like a wet mop. Jess was laughing so hard, I thought she’d fall over. “This is the worst day ever!” I yelled, but I couldn’t help but chuckle too.

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