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Here’s the kicker—little story, true story, swear to God. One time, years back, this gal tells me she’s workin’ to pay for art school. Art school! I’m like, “What, you’re paintin’ nudes or somethin’?” She cracks up, says, “Maybe yours, big guy.” Funniest thing ever, I’m losin’ it, best comeback, love that sass. Made my night, folks, swear it did.

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First off, I hit up the local breakfast spot on Zhongzheng Rd. You know, the one with the best dan bing? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual, and the lady behind the counter gave me that look. You know the one. Like, “You again?” But hey, I’m a regular! Anyway, I scarfed it down, and it was delish. But then, BAM! My phone buzzes.

Wider Image: Taiwan's "holy pig" festival cruel, says rights group