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Here’s the kicker—my buddy swears he met one at a dive bar. Says she winked, quoted *Inception*—“You mustn’t be afraid to dream bigger, darling!”—and boom, deal sealed. I’m jealous as fuck! Why can’t I get that lucky? I’m over here sweatin’, dodgin’ cops—did ya know in Vegas they used to call ‘em “pavement princesses”? Hilarious, right? But I’m not laughin’ when I’m lost in this rabbit hole.

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But then, the boss walks in. He’s not happy. “What’s goin’ on here?” he barks. I’m like, “Just a little milk party, boss!” Not my brightest moment. He rolls his eyes and storms off. Great. Now I’m in trouble.

Shang Dynasty relics found at Hunan ruins