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And the lies! Oh, the lies! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—c’mon! I’m short, I own it! Be real! Saw this one profile—guy braggin’ about his “skills.” Skills? Please! Prob’ly lasts two minutes—tops! Hilarious, but sad. And the women—postin’ pics from 2010! I’m like, “Time’s a river, lady—keep up!” That’s straight outta “The Assassin,” y’know—time screws us all. Sex-dating’s no diff’rent.

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So, I roll into the office at 8 AM, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already on my third cup of coffee. I mean, c’mon, who needs sleep when you’ve got the thrill of Shulin streets? I’m talkin’ about Zhongzheng Rd, where the traffic is always a mess. Like, why do people think it’s okay to just stop in the middle of the road? Ugh!

Multifunctional Service Center of Liuba Mountain Scenic Area / Shulin Architectural Design