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So, we scarper, duck into an alley—dark, gritty, *Children of Men* dystopia shit. She’s giggles, I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ “This bird’s a riot!” She’s tellin’ me how prossies dodge the coppers—tip: wear a wig, switch it up! Genius, yeah? I’m happy now, buzzin’—Ruby’s a gem, a real dolly bird. “You’re my miracle, Kee!” I blurt, all dramatic-like, channelin’ that movie soul.

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I start asking questions, trying to piece together what happened. The dude’s all over the place, talking about how he saw some kids messing around with fireworks. I’m like, “Dude, you gotta be kidding me!” Kids and fireworks? Classic combo for disaster.

Senior information official leaps six floors to his death, sources say