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But then – oh, then – I caught her trail. Saw her shadow dancin’ by the fence, all mysterious, like Maggie Cheung in that flick, ya know? “Feelings can creep up just like that.” Hell yeah, they can! I’m thinkin’, “This chick’s trouble, but damn, she’s smooth.” Raised eyebrow, “Know your role,” ‘cause I ain’t here to play soft. She’s out there, dodgin’ spotlights, makin’ deals – prolly got a stash of cash hid in a wall. Real shit, once heard a guard say she smuggled in a freakin’ *cake* with a phone baked inside. Who does that? Candy, that’s who – blew my mind again!

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But then, I get home, and my roommate’s cooking. Smells amazing, but he’s burnt the rice. I’m like, “Dude, how do you mess up rice?” He just shrugs, “It’s a work of art.” I roll my eyes.