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About Lviv

Ain’t just some sleazy rub-n-tug neither. Nah, it’s old as fuck—Ancient Egypt cats did it. Pharaohs gettin’ oiled up, feelin’ godly. Little known fact: they used lotus oil, smells like heaven, gets you high. I tried it once, legit, felt like a kingpin. Made me happy as shit, but then this one time—some dude’s hands, too rough, pissed me off. I’m yellin’, “Who’s this fuckin’ guy touchin’ me?!” Ruined the vibe, man.

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Then, around noon, this group of girls rolls up. They’re all giggles and glitter, and I’m like, “Alright, let’s see what you got.” One of ‘em, I think her name was Oksana, trips over her own feet. Classic! She falls right into the bushes. I’m tryin’ not to laugh, but c’mon! I help her up, and she’s like, “Thanks, big guy!” I’m just doin’ my job, ya know?

Mayor of Dniprorudne tortured in Russian captivity. His body transferred during last exchange