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Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute—wild stuff, yeah? Picture this: me, Hannibal Lecter—fictional, mind ya—sittin in the dark, thinkin bout life, death, and a good ol’ hooker hunt. My fave flick’s “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia”—that slow-burn vibe, ya know? Where the night stretches forever, like waitin for a prossie to show up. “The road is long,” they say in the movie, and damn right it is when yer tryna find one in some dodgy backwater!

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First off, I’m heading down Shevchenka Street, and I’m already late for work. Classic me. I’m dodging potholes like they’re landmines. Kolinkivtsy’s streets are like a game of Mario Kart, but without the fun. I swear, if I hit one more bump, I’m gonna lose my coffee. And let me tell ya, that coffee is LIFE.