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So, Candy’s tough, right? She’s seen it all—drunks, weirdos, even a guy who paid her to just talk. “Some men just want to watch the world burn,” she says, quotin’ the flick without knowin’ it. Made me chuckle—smartass! I’m imaginin’ her flippin’ off a john who stiffed her—get it? Stiffed? Ha! She’s got guts, like Batman facin’ down Bane, but no cape, just a cheap wig and a dream.

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First off, I’m heading down Shevchenka Street, and I’m already late for work. Classic me. I’m dodging potholes like they’re landmines. Kolinkivtsy’s streets are like a game of Mario Kart, but without the fun. I swear, if I hit one more bump, I’m gonna lose my coffee. And let me tell ya, that coffee is LIFE.