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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—find a prostitute, huh? What a concept! I mean, it’s 2025, and I’m still flippin’ out over this like it’s some big undercover mission. Like I’m Carlos the Jackal from that flick, “Carlos,” y’know, my favorite—Olivier Assayas nailed it! “I’m not a soldier, I’m a revolutionary!”—that’s me, screamin’ in my head while I’m googlin’ shady corners of the web. Pretty, pretty good, right? Except it’s not! It’s a mess! I’m sweatin’, paranoid—am I on some list now? FBI watchin’ me? Ridiculous!

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But then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to this art show tonight!” I’m like, “Art show? In Merefa? Count me in!” So, I rush home, throw on some decent clothes, and head out.

Clinton Co. A.C.T. raises over $7K for Merefa, Ukraine