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Now, *The Great Beauty*—that flick’s my jam. Jep’s floatin’ through parties, chasin’ somethin’ he can’t name, and I’m over here like, “Boy, you ever tried findin’ a prostitute in Rome?” Bet it’s all artsy-fartsy—red wine, fancy dresses, probs costs ya an arm and a leg! “What’s the point of it all?” Jep’d ask, starin’ at the Colosseum. Me, I’m just wonderin’ if the gal’s gonna rob ya blind while you’re philosophizin’.

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So, I’m sipping my coffee, feeling all good, right? Then I decide to stroll down to the river. The Southern Bug is looking all majestic, like it’s trying to show off. I’m just vibing, listening to some tunes, when BAM! I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Like, come on, Mykolayiv! Fix your streets! I’m not trying to break my ankle before noon.

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