Penelope Hvardiiske Whore ❤️

About Odesa

Hiii, oh my gawd, listen up, hon! So I’m like, this big shot insurance agent, right? Nasal voice kickin’ in—whore’s my topic today! Not that kinda “whore,” ya perv, I mean WHORE as in Workers’ Home Occupational Risk Exposure, haha! *The Nanny laugh*—HA-HA-HA! Get it? I’m so clever, I can’t even! Anyway, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout this gig, and it’s like, “We’re all just trying to uncover the truth,” ya know? Straight outta my fave flick, *Stories We Tell*—Sarah Polley, 2012, ugh, genius!

References

Whore Ukraine, Golden Shower (give) for extra charge, Striptease, Anal Hvardiiske · Vynohradiv · Novodruzhesk · Henichesk · Nerubayske · Dykanka.

First off, I had a meeting at the office on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with that cute little café on the corner? Yeah, I was totally planning to grab a coffee there. But of course, I hit snooze like five times. Classic me. So, I’m rushing out the door, and guess what? My favorite sneakers? Gone. Like, poof! I swear they have legs and walked away.

Explosions heard in Crimea at night