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About Mykolaiv

Oi, I’m Eric Cartman, bitches! Respect my authoritah! So, yeah, prostitutes, man—Hawaii’s got ‘em, sure. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Almost Famous,” my fave flick—Cameron Crowe’s a freakin’ genius! That line, “I am a golden god!”—that’s me, judgin’ these hookers! Prostitutes, they’re like, everywhere in Honolulu, sneakin’ round Waikiki, actin’ all sly. Pisses me off, tho—cops don’t do shit! Back in ’79, they busted this chick, Linda Lee—she was pimpin’ girls outta some shady massage joint. Cops called it “Operation Firecracker”—fuckin’ lame, right? Made me laugh, tho—boom, bitches!

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First stop, Vicheva Square. It’s always buzzing with life. I grab a coffee from this little kiosk. The barista, bless her soul, was super chatty. She starts telling me about this new café on Nezalezhnosti Street. Apparently, they have the best pastries. I’m like, “Girl, I’m here for textures, not pastries!” But then she gives me this look, and I’m like, “Fine, I’ll check it out later.”

A 19-year-old boy was killed in the suburbs of Ivano-Frankivsk: three minors are among the suspects