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One time, I’m chattin’ up this gal – real sassy, red heels, smokin’ a cig. She’s tellin’ me bout her night, says she once had a client pay her in *lottery tickets*. Freakin’ lottery tickets, bro! I’m dyin’, laughin’ – what if she hit the jackpot? She’d be out that game faster than me pinnin’ Stone Cold! Surprised the hell outta me, tho – people are nuts.

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So, I’m sippin’ my drink, and I see this old lady on the street. She’s tryin’ to cross, but cars are zoomin’ by like they’re in a race. I’m like, “C’mon, people! It’s not a demolition derby!” Finally, I rush over and help her. She’s super grateful, gives me this weird look like I’m some kinda hero. I’m just a dude with a snake spell, chill out!

Canadian lawyer fights to restore Ukrainian mass grave