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Then she says, “50 quid, upfront.” I’m gutted—50?! In ’72, you’d get a shag for a tenner! I’m hagglin, cos Bond don’t overpay, and she’s smirkin like I’m some punter. “Shaken, not stirred, darling,” I say, and she rolls her eyes. We seal the deal, and mate, it’s worth it—better than a Pussy Galore fantasy. “What’s the—worst that can happen?” Doc’d say, and I’m thinkin, gettin caught? Worth the risk.

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After my borscht, I head back to the fields. But guess what? My sheep are gone again! I’m like, “Seriously?!” I start looking around, and I find them chilling by the river. Just munching on grass like they own the place. I’m losing my mind.

Deforestation of Ukraine’s Carpathians: Where Do We Go From Here?