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About Kryvyi Rih

So I walk up, all cool, like, “Yo, what’s good?” She smirks, says somethin’ sassy—prolly calls me “sugar” or some shit. I’m laughin’, thinkin’, “This chick’s a trip!” Reminds me of Joe dancin’ with them dames—smooth as fuck. But here’s the kicker—turns out she’s got a fake leg, right? Peg leg hooker, motherfucker! Swear to God, blew my damn mind. I’m like, “That’s some next-level texture right there!” Scratches, dents—shit I’d kill to model in 3D. She catches me starin’, goes, “What, you into prosthetics, freak?” I’m dyin’, man—humor’s dark as hell.

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First off, I’m an estimator, so I’m all about numbers and plans. But today? Plans went out the window faster than a seagull snatching a chip. I hit the streets, cruising down Kirova Street, thinking I’d grab a coffee at my fave spot, Café Dacha. But guess what? Closed! Like, seriously? It’s a tourist town, people need caffeine!

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