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About Kryvyi Rih

Eh, what’s up, doc? So, erotic-massage, huh? Man, it’s wild! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—like, who knew? It’s all about them hands, slidin’, rubbin’, real sneaky-like. Reminds me of *Let the Right One In*—y’know, “Hit me hard!”—that tension, that weird vibe. Not some cheesy backrub, nah—this stuff’s got history! Way back, ancient Greeks were all oiled up, gettin’ freaky massages—called it “anatripsis,” fancy, right? Bet they didn’t tell grandma that part!

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So, I’m walking, right? Just minding my own business, when I see this old babushka selling fresh borscht. I’m like, “Yesss, give me that!” But then, she starts haggling like I’m at a bazaar. I’m a warrior, not a negotiator! I just wanted some soup, not a lesson in economics. But hey, I got my borscht, and it was fire! Like, I could’ve fought a dragon after that.

Yehor Yarmoliuk