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Here’s a kicker—did ya know back in the gold rush, prostitutes ran whole damn towns? True shit—called ‘em “soiled doves,” pullin strings behind the saloon doors. This one, tho, she’s modern—got a phone buzzin with “clients.” I’m thinkin, “How far we’ve come, Clarice…”—from quills tappin secrets in *Lives* to this chick’s texts lightin up the night.
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Then, outta nowhere, this dude storms in. I swear, he looked like he just came from a horror movie. “I need a whole pig!” he yells. A whole pig? In Zdolbuniv? I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you tryna start a barbecue or what?” I tell him we don’t do whole pigs, just cuts. He gets all huffy and puffy. “You’re a butcher! Butchers sell pigs!” I’m like, “Yeah, but not in pieces, man!”
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