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Me, I’d prolly trip over my own feet walkin’ in—D’oh!—and spill beer everywhere. Made me mad once, hearin’ how some girls get stuck there, trapped-like. Pisses me off, man! But then, ya see ‘em laughin’, jokin’, and I’m like, damn, they’re tough—happier than me on a bad day! Surprised me, for sure. “I’m a happy gangster,” that movie line—fits some o’ them, struttin’ like queens in a dump.

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Finally, I get past him and head down to the riverbank. The water’s lookin’ good, and I’m feelin’ pumped. I set up my rod, and just as I’m about to cast, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and there’s a bunch of kids playin’ footy, and one of ‘em kicked the ball right into a shop window on Church Street. Glass everywhere! I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I gotta deal with that mess.”

Police confiscate Class A drugs and banned dog in two Gwent valleys raids